Smashed Chair

Ninjas Fueled By Caffeine

The Ninjas are probably going to be coming your way very soon. With a bass instead of a katana and a drum kit instead of rice balls and ninja stars, Ninja Academy will embarking on a sick tour across the American wasteland for a solid month. Ninjas Indo and Outdo were kind enough to answer some Qs, but they were seriously going to use the palm of death when we asked them if they needed a guitar. No seriously.

SC:  What is the Ninja diet going to be like?

Indo - Bread crumbs and water – just like prison.
Outdo - I don’t know, I know I don’t want to be eating junk food all day, can’t eat McDonalds everyday. We’ve got to figure out some way to try and eat healthy, because it’s going to sap our energy if we don’t.

SC:  It’s like eating a poisonous McBurger it’ll ruin your day.

Outdo – Seriously, we’ve got to –
Indo – We’ve got to have a lot of coffee. That’ll fuel me.
Outdo – Oh God, we’re going to die.
Indo – No food, just coffee.
Outdo – I’m going to try and eat salads everyday. Screw that.

SC:  You’re saying that now. For the first three days you’re going to be like “salad salad” and then after that you’re going to be eating all types of shit.

Outdo – Yeah, I’m going to feel like crap and then I’m going to start eating crap.
Indo – We could take a head of lettuce and just bite into that.

SC:  You could take one of those Chia pets that has those herbs on them.

Outdo – With parsley leaves and stuff.
Indo – Hopefully we’ll at least get some discounts on the gigs, like with our food.

SC:  Are you driving to any places and you’re not 100 percent sure on the venue?

Outdo – Like everyplace.
Indo – Ha!
Outdo – We’ve got them all booked, but who knows how they are. We’ll find out when we get there. That’s what this is all about making connections on this tour.

SC:  Have you guys ever been invited to pirate parties?

Outdo – Pirate?
Indo – No, if someone did invite to a pirate party it would be a big mistake, because we’d show up and kill the whole place.

SC:  Do you think you need a guitar yet?

Outdo – Next question.
Indo – Hahaha!

SC:  No, seriously?

Outdo No, we don’t need a guitar.
Indo – We do jam with guitar players, but they don’t really last that long.
Outdo – You know, having whatever instrument would be great, but we don’t need any. We’re self-sufficient. You have various guess ninjas that jam with us and if you can hang with us that’s cool. It’s not a matter that we’re elitist or anything – as long as they don’t fuck our shit up we’re cool.

SC:  Are you guys taking any comfort objects with you, like blankies or anything like that?

Indo – Just drugs.
Outdo – That’s comfort. I’m going to say my favorite pair of warm fuzzy socks. Yeah, with the little ball in the back.
Indo – Outdo is my comfort.

SC:  Awww… What’s the goal that you hope to accomplish on this tour?

Indo – Hopefully to build relationships with some of the clubs and promoters.
Outdo – And fans. It’s all about building relationships right now and getting to know our fans. Getting our music out there is the most important thing.
Indo – Right now we just want to play music and make a living.

SC:  Maybe one day you can have absurd riders when you go on tour

Outdo – Yeah, like red M&Ms only.

SC:  No brown M&Ms

Outdo – No, fuck those ones. And almond only.

SC:  Those are hard to come by. You’re going to piss off some roadie.

Outdo – Well fuck them.

 

 

 

Interview by Nathan Solis

Photos by Daniel Belis and Nathan Solis